Hooters.
On Friday, Alex and I decided that we needed to go to the Apple Store. His phone wouldn’t respond to his touch (that’s what she said) and my computer would randomly close any program that I was running (that’s not what she said). What she started as a quick trip with Alex turned into me, Alex, and two of his frat brothers. The conversation in the car was about the merits of “douche nozzle” as an insult. I have to say, it is a much better insult than “douche bag.” What is so bad about being a bag? But I digress.
We made appointments with the Genius Bar for 5:00 and 5:15, and figured we could leave at 4:30 and get there in plenty of time. We are obviously stupid, because 30 or 45 minutes to get from DAVIS TO SACRAMENTO is obviously not enough time. This is not LA, it should not take more minutes than miles to get somewhere. Sacramento Arden Mall is about 23 miles away. It should take about 23 minutes to get to the mall. That’s called logic, unless you’re in LA. Then logic states something 23 miles away will take you 23000 minutes to get there, or about 16 days.
We were obviously late, so we had to go on the standby list. Have you ever been on the standby list for the Apple Store Genius Bar? I’m still on the Standby list. I could actually go 23 miles in LA before I would get helped on the Standby list.
About 40 minutes into our stay at the Apple Store, one of Alex’s bros suggests we go to Hooters for dinner. Which is obviously more classy than trashy, which is right up my alley, so I was totally happy.
Maybe it’s because in LA even the waitresses at regular restaurants look like young Cindy Crawfords except blonde, but I was not really impressed with the girls at this particular Hooters. I mean, they were cute, and they had big boobs, but they were just meh. Is that mean? Is that like calling a stripper flat-chested? Like calling a Hollywood starlet old? Like telling your old sorority sisters that you resent that you spent so much money trying to be their friend?
After all of that fun, Alex and I got home and, like the old farty couple that we are, we sat on our couch and watched The Office DVDs and lit our fireplace-scented candle and ate the last of our jelly beans. Because we don’t have a fireplace and we were really low on desserts. And when we ran out of soda we decided to go to bed. Because staying up is just no fun without Diet Dr. Pepper. LITTLE LIFE LESSONS, PEOPLE.
Lindsey said,
October 26, 2009 @ 6:17 am
I think the same of the girls who work at Hooters in Pittsburgh. They’re just not as hot as I feel a girl working at Hooters should be.
P.S. for your entertainment, this reminded me of a super lame joke I heard.
If girls with big boobs work at Hooters, where do girls with one leg work?
IHOP!!
Enjoy your week :)
Lindsey´s last blog ..5 times 2 equals 9?
steph anne said,
October 28, 2009 @ 12:35 pm
I’ve seen some Hooters shut down around where I live…maybe because the girls were too ugly. :)
steph anne´s last blog ..The Next Project: Fireplace
Devon said,
October 28, 2009 @ 12:44 pm
That joke seriously made me laugh way harder than it should have :)
E.P. said,
November 1, 2009 @ 5:17 pm
You know, my volleyball teammates used to tell me that, if worse came to worse, I could work at Hooters. I was always mortified, and to this day, I have never eaten there.
Also, your comments on the Hooters girls? Slightly offensive (maybe to them), but really. I bet it’s true.
Happy that I stopped by here tonight! Love your blog!
E.P.´s last blog ..Hooray, November!
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