When Harry and Sally meet lethal amounts of Rum.
The question on my mind for the last few days has been the epic Harry and Sally question: can a girl and a boy be “just friends?”
By just friends, people usually mean no sexual attraction, no sexual thoughts, no long walks on the beach while holding hands, and the ability to eat lethal amounts of Chinese food while discussing sexual fantasies positions partners. Partners that are not each other, obviously. Obviously.
Most people are extremely indignant about this particular discussion:
Feminist: Men are incapable of complicated relationships that two people of different genders can carry on. They all have mother issues and vagina envy.
Freud: I’m with her.
Man: Women are hotttt… maybe I could just be her friend if she’s ugly. Probably not. I’d still want to bang her.
Frued: Wait… Vagina envy? No, you, my dear, have penis envy.
Feminist: Shut up.
Man: I’d fuck her.
Me: Whaaa????
I usually point out the fact that I had several close male friends in high school. Then leave out the part where I had huge, debilitating crushes on a few of them and the ones I didn’t want to jump on and lick during lunch period wanted to take me behind the middle school and impregnate me. (Points if you got the reference.)
However, I think I make an interesting point without even trying. (What a fucking surprise, right? Me? Clueless?) I think the question is wrong. Instead of asking if men and women could be “just friends,” we should be asking if women and men can be friends despite the fact that there is or at one point will be some (sometimes obvious) sexual tension?
And I think that answer is a resounding yes.
Did I have HUGE, EMBARRASSING crushes on my male friends in high school? YES. Were we still friends? HELL YES.
(There is a really good story about this one guy, Sean, that I wanted to jump the summer before college. We got to be pretty good friends, then I tried to kiss him, he wasn’t really interested, and we REMAINED pretty good friends until we went off to college. THAT. IS. SKILL. It’s how I learned how not be awkward.)
(Just kidding! I’m still awkward! :D)
On Friday, I was at cocktail with Alex and I was talking to one of my (male) friends and I told him that if I wasn’t with Alex, I would totally date him. Why did I do that? I’m going to blame it on the “Long Island Iced Tea” I ordered that ended up being watered down tequila in a cup. Does it matter that I told him? Maybe. But the point is, I’m still friends with him, even though he now knows that I would date him.
So eat your hearts out, Har and Sal.
Thoughts?
Renata Coco said,
April 6, 2009 @ 9:20 am
I think you hit the nail on the head. You’re asking the right question and, in my opinion, got the right answer. I too have had friends that I’ve had crushes on or have had crushes on me, and guess what? We’re still close. Now sometimes that goes awry and you end up saying screw it let’s have a go at this. If it works, great, if not, there’s always healing. I am now good friends with two of my three ex-boyfriends. And that’s not including the guys on whom I had crushes or vice versa who did not end up in a relationship with me. One of my closest guy friends had a crush on me a while ago (and nothing came of it) but we’re still tight.
Aaron said,
April 7, 2009 @ 7:40 am
Didn’t Harry and Sally end up doing it when they got drunk?
Gugajibaotu said,
August 22, 2009 @ 9:31 pm
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