The Daily Durvy

I think the first blog ever made must have been started by some crazy-ass woman who agreed to cross state lines with her boyfriend to meet up with his entire family, most of whom are from Arlington, Texas.

Or maybe that’s just me.

Back in May, Alex got a call from his mother. After hanging up, he turned to me with a truly pained look on his face. “I have to go to the middle of fucking nowhere with some bitch-ass beezies in July,” he said. (well no, actually, he said “I have to go to Colorado with my parents and grandparents in July” but I cleverly read between the lines.)

What happened next was quite a blur, but I do remember being in the parking lot of the Dollar Tree (we’re classy out here in Davis) and agreeing to spend 5 days in Durango, Colorado. I may or may not have been drunk at the time.

Going anywhere with family is stressful, but going with a family that isn’t yours yet but that you hope one day will be yours is like taking finals while on your period, simultaneously fighting with your mom, boyfriend and cat, all while a rabid bunny snacks on your toes. Needless to say, I’ve been drinking more. Except not here because they drink Franzia and I can’t get the image of “on your knees and slap it like you mean it” out of my head.

However, per usual, I overreacted and Alex’s family is just as wonderful as he is. And they all have the same sense of humor, most of which involves poop and vaginas. I knew I loved this man, but damn. This proved that we’re downright meant to be.

On Thursday night, after Alex’s cousins left with his aunts, his dad ad two brothers retreated to the den for a little man-bonding. Alex and I went to our bedroom to watch some Law and Order and such. Around 11, Alex went to the kitchen to get some water and peeked into the den. His dad and uncles were acting suspicious so he stopped in for a chat. After a little small talk, his Uncle J asked if he and his “lovely lady friend” would like to go on a hike the next day. Before Alex could respond, his dad cut in with “the only hiking he’ll be doing tomorrow is horizontal hiking.” And then before Alex could respond to that his Uncle J chimes in: “hell yeah. Alex, you should grow a beard. It’s a great flavor-saver.”